the bitterness and resentment have finally closed around me
they form a cage from which I may not escape
I know where the key is, but how to work the lock?
even if, key in hand, I remember, would I?
doubt and hesitation are growing influences
the bars, growing thicker, are becoming complete walls
formed from the endless ore of slights and betrayals, both real and perceived
tempered by the pressure of anger, hostility held within
hammered into shape by self-pity and regret
joined together by the dark epoxy of self-loathing.
friends, family, others, they seem more distant now
a greater and greater effort is required to see the outside light
the warmth of everyday joys seems to wane
the most basic pleasures now seem a chore and of little point
the space between the bars grows smaller
soon it will be a cell
I will no longer have to withdraw within it
it will enclose me permanently
it will be dark, but quiet
the slings and arrows of others shatter upon its face
barely a thud registering inside the hardened exterior
my own seething grudges strengthening it from within, I will be safe
I will be alone
